


One sky, one destiny

by SaoryEmanoelle



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Canon Universe, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M, Married Couple, Mentions of Cancer, More tags to be added in time, Multiverse, Other, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, Slice of Life, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaoryEmanoelle/pseuds/SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: Vanitas could not believe his eyes when he saw him. It was Ventus, in every aspect. His face. His hair. His shining, beautiful eyes, and a smile capable of wiping out all darkness in the world. But that man...He looked healthy. Just like Ven did before that damn disease changed him forever.
Relationships: VanVen - Relationship, Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts), VenVan - Relationship
Comments: 21
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm not gonna make it."

* * *

Vanitas looked down at his wristwatch for what felt like the twentieth time and put his hands into his pockets again. Looking around, it was easy to find others doing the same: Angrily checking the time, annoyed at the endless line of people who waited for their cold coffee, milkshakes, or whatever. Starbucks had never been his favorite place to go but on some days - Like today - he'd go there and get something for himself. He just hadn't expected to wait for half an hour in line after already being stuck in traffic on his way there.

A name was called and someone happily rushed to get their order. Vanitas observed them with a bit of jealousy and wondered if his turn would ever come before someone behind him complained out loud and he realized that he at least was one step ahead of them. 

_Look on the bright side_ , the words echoed in his mind. Right, right. It wasn’t really the end of the world, he supposed. Besides, it wasn’t as if he had been forced to go there. He’d done it out of his own volition. And, who was he fooling, it wasn’t like he would _not_ go there on that date. He could skip any other day, but not today.

“Good evening, sir. How can I help you?”

“Oh? Oh, I, uh-” He had been so distracted not thinking about anything at all that when it was finally his turn he had to shake his head to concentrate. Focus, Vanitas. “I’d like a salted caramel hot chocolate, please.”

“Anything else?”

“No, thank you.” He thought again. “Actually, yes, I’d also like a, uh, black coffee, please.”

It didn’t take too long for his name to be called this time and he happily got his drinks and walked away, wishing good luck to those who were still in line and now stared at _him_ with jealousy. His lips curved into a satisfied smile as he made his way back to his car.

Waiting for so long left him unprepared for the wind he’d forgotten outside. Vanitas pulled his coat closer, as best as he could without making a mess and dropping the cups on the street. He shivered, put the cups on top of the car to unlock it then got inside as fast as he managed, rubbing his hands together to warm himself up.

“Geez, what with this weather...”

He pulled down the mirror and took a good look at his face. He rubbed at his cheeks and chin, thinking that it was about time to shave only to raise his eyebrow at his own reflection. Was it really? It had been years since he’d let it grow. A bit of change couldn’t hurt, could it?

A sigh later and he was already on the highway, drinks both carefully placed not to spill. He turned on the radio and listened to music that wasn’t of his liking, just to have background noise of sorts as he stepped on the brakes on every turn, taking a sip of his coffee every now and then until he was finally parking his car in his own garage.

The moment he stepped inside his house, Vanitas let out a loud and relieved yawn. He threw his empty cup of coffee in the bin but didn’t let go of the hot chocolate, holding it close to his chest. With his free hand, he took his cellphone out of his coat pocket and looked up the missing calls, aware of the name he’d see there. She, too, would never miss that date.

Vanitas groaned and took his coat off only to grab one of the warmest blankets from the wardrobe and toss it on the bed, following right after. He sat down, pulled the blanket up, and sighed once more, now warming his hands around the cup. He didn’t do anything for some time, just sat there and stared down at it until his phone rang again. He picked it up and gathered enough courage to take a sip of the drink.

His face contorted with disgust. Too much sugar.

“Hello?” The familiar voice of his younger sister spoke to him on the phone. “Van?”

“Hey.” He answered, holding the cellphone against his ear with his shoulder.

“Hey.” Xion’s voice sounded much softer now that she’d heard him speak. He could tell she was smiling. “It took you a while to pick up. Stuck in traffic again?”

“Yep. And at Starbucks. Too many people.”

“I imagine.” She let out the smallest laugh and it was Vanitas’ turn to smile. He drank some more of the salted cream, groaning as he did, but not stopping. “A complete nightmare for my antisocial big brother.” 

She paused. “Did you get it?”

“I did. It tastes just like last year.”

“Awful?”

“Awful!”

They both laughed but their laughter didn’t last too long. It never did, not on that day. Not on days like those. Xion waited in silence while her brother drank the drink he despised. She gave him time and listened to him breathe in and out to keep control. She waited, waited until she heard him sniffle, and wished she was there with him.

“... It’s movie night today?” She asked, whispered. He sniffled again.

“Yeah. After a shower, I’ll… I’ll put it on. Lilo and Stitch.”

“It’s a beautiful movie.” Xion pointed out, tightening her fingers around her phone.

“It is. It really is.”

Vanitas looked down at the cup still pretty much full and braced himself for another sip. He drank as much as he could before shaking his head in disgust and stopping. He looked up at the ceiling, then to the empty space on the bed to his right.

“... Awful...” 

He stretched his shaky hand to touch the pillow next to his. Caressed the fabric for a moment, let himself remember. He sighed and drank a bit more.

“Hey… Want me to come over?” Xion asked. “I can make us dinner. Or buy something you like.”

“No, it’s alright, sis. But… Thank you, I appreciate it. I...”

“Is there anything you’d like to tell me?” His sister asked, bringing him back to the present day. Present day, present day. The here and now. 

“... I don’t know.” Vanitas managed to mutter then put the cup on the bedside table, resting one hand over his chest, holding the phone against his ear with the other. “Just… I thought it’d get easier.”

The wind was blowing outside. Vanitas felt cold even under the blanket.

“... It never gets easier, does it?”

He wasn’t expecting her to reply. He already knew the answer to that question. Maybe he just wanted to be reassured. Maybe he just wanted to not feel that pain anymore.

Vanitas lay on his side, the way he’d usually do when Ventus was still there, in a way he could hug him from behind or watch him sleep. The most beautiful light, always lovely, always sweet even in the darkest of times.

He held back a whimper and closed his eyes. His light was gone. 

It had been gone for five years.

“It’ll be our anniversary in a month.” Vanitas said, tightening his eyes shut. Refusing to look, to acknowledge the truth. “Do you remember our wedding?”

“How could I not?” Xion smiled, droplets of tears gathering in her eyes as well. “You looked stunning, big brother. And so did Ven.”

“God, he was… Beyond stunning. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen.”

“I think he wouldn’t agree on that. He’d say that man is you.”

“He would.” Vanitas laughed and tears started to fall down. “He was so stubborn at times! It’d drive me insane.”

“I can say the same about you, you know? So I am sure he was also driven insane by you!”

“Never said he wasn’t. Was just trying to prove my point, you know. That...” A shaky breath. “That we were made for each other. He’d always say that, my Ven. So silly. God, I miss him.”

Vanitas caressed the pillow again, then the mattress where Ventus should be sleeping.

“God, I miss him…!”

Xion waited in silence again. She listened as her big brother cried and mourned the loss of his husband, the person he loved the most. Heard as he tossed around and tried to stop only to choke up and sob again. It was never easy, and it would never be any easier. But it was especially harder on the date of Ventus’s birthday.

“I miss him so bad, Xion…!”

“I know...”

“I’d do anything to have him with me again…!”

“I know… I’m sorry...”

He could almost hear it. The sound of Ventus’ quick steps as he raced to the bed and jumped on it, jumped on top of him. _I have popcorn_ , he’d say and snuggle against him. His cup of salted cream hot chocolate would already be on the bedside table along with Vanitas’ tea. A gentle kiss on his cheek later and they’d start watching ‘Lilo and Stitch’ again, Ventus’ favorite movie. His favorite movie on his own special day, with his favorite person right by his side.

Vanitas reached for Ventus’ pillow and pressed his face against it to get rid of the tears that wouldn’t stop falling down. Years later and he could still smell his perfume. Years later and he could still hear his voice wishing him a good night. Saying ‘I love you’. He took a moment to breathe again, a moment to tell himself that crying or screaming wouldn’t bring him back. A moment to tell himself his sweetheart wouldn’t want to see him like this. Just a moment.

“I’d do anything for just another moment with him.”

When he sat back up minutes later the chocolate was already cold. He rubbed his face with both hands and drank what was left of it before picking the phone up again.

“... X… Xion?”

“Hey… I’m here.”

“There’s...” He bit his bottom lip. “There _is_ something I’d like to tell you.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“We, uh… There’s this… This beach we went to every year. Remember?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I… I never managed to go back after… After he died.” He closed his eyes again. Breathe in and out. “I… I don’t imagine myself there without him. But...”

“Your anniversary...”

He nodded to himself. Xion understood. 

“I don’t… Think it would be a good idea. I don’t think I’d even be able to go through with it. But… He loved that place. And I… I loved being there with him. But...” He shook his head and let out a sad laugh. “I’ve been… Searching online. People who lost their loved ones doing things to… Keep them alive or… To honor them, do the things they weren’t able to. I’m not sure I believe in such a thing, but...”

“But maybe you do. You said lots of ’buts’ there, bro.”

Her little comment made him laugh again, but there was still a lump in his throat and a heavy feeling on his chest. Like a weight that would never leave, the weight of waiting for Ventus to magically appear again out of thin air. Hopeless and yet real enough to touch.

“It’s a stupid thought, though, I mean… What would I even do there, cry? I can do this at home.”

“You could relive memories.”

Neither said anything else for a while. Vanitas could feel the tears threatening to fall again but he held them back this time. 

“... How was the chocolate?”

“Way too sugary and sweet. Just the way he liked it.”

It was getting colder now and the night was far from over. Vanitas held the phone without thinking when Xion spoke again.

“Why don’t you go take a shower, mm?” She asked. “Get in your pajamas. Get comfy for bed.”

“Comfy for movie night today.”

“Comfy for movie night, yeah.”

Vanitas dried his tears with the back of his hand and pushed himself up, forced himself to stand. He looked down at the empty cup with a fond, sad smile.

“I’ll go do that now. Then I’ll sleep. Tomorrow’s another day after all.”

“Take your time to rest, big brother. I love you a lot, okay? Don’t forget that.”

“I love you too. Thank you… For calling me.”

“It’s the least I can do for the best brother in the world. Let me know if you need anything, okay? Promise?”

“I promise. You too, sis. Good night.”

“Good night.”

The silence was overwhelming, more on that day than on others. Vanitas left his phone aside since no one else was going to send him anything anyway and took off his clothes, throwing them on his chair and walking to the bathroom. He stayed there for a few minutes, relaxing in the hot water, then left in a hurry to change into warm clothes.

Now on his pajamas, he looked out of the window for a while, watching the movement on the street. Then, without wasting any more time, he picked up Ventus’ ‘Lilo and Stitch’ copy and put it on the DVD player.

The menu music always made him happy, as much as it hurt to listen to it. With an aching heart, Vanitas walked to their dresser and picked up a picture frame he had: A photo of Ventus on their wedding day, the brightest smile across his face, his green eyes shining with life. So much life.

With tears gathering in his eyes again, he walked back to the bed with the frame in hand and lay down. Vanitas looked at the photo one more time, stroking it with his thumb, and kissed the picture before turning it to face the TV.

“I love you, sweetheart.” He whispered and started the movie. 

"Wherever you are."


	2. Chapter 2

Ventus looked around to see if anyone else had the same puzzled expression as him. 

Surely enough, they all did. Aqua and Terra stared from Ienzo to Even who, understandably, were getting tired of explaining the same thing over and over. Naminé and Roxas squinted their eyes at the schema Even had drawn on the board. Xion stood next to Ienzo, nervously fidgeting at her white coat.

Life was peaceful after Xehanort was defeated. Five years had passed since their battle against the True Organization XIII and, since then, no evil had plagued them as it had done in the past. Heartless would still come out of the shadows and nobodies still existed but besides that nothing major had happened.

The ones who survived the battle were either working with King Mickey and other Guardians to keep the balance of the realms or living their lives as regular humans. Going to work, meeting new people. Enjoying the free time they now had.

To the somebodies, who had regained their chance at life again, that was a blessing. Being able to have feelings, sensations again after so long and getting to live with no more fighting. To the ones who knew no other way of life, they still had beings of darkness as their enemies and fought every day to keep things under control.

As for Riku and Kairi, who still couldn’t accept their best friend had passed away, there was still a long journey ahead. A hopeless, never-ending journey they endured looking for someone who could not be found.

Life had been peaceful and nothing major had happened. Not until a month ago, at least. Not until Ventus returned to Radiant Garden with alarming news about something he’d found. 

‘A disturbance in the air’, he called it. Xion, who had been working with Ienzo and Even as a junior scientist for the past year, immediately called her superiors to tell them about it and the four of them had spent days trying to figure out what exactly they were dealing with.

They had more knowledge about the thing now than they had before. The challenge, however, was to explain that to the others.

“... One more time?” Roxas asked, raising his hand like a student in a classroom.

“Father, if I may…” Ienzo took the lead, putting a hand on Even’s shoulder to stop him from speaking. “Let me try to put it in simpler terms so they understand.”

Even groaned but gave in. Naminé let out a small ‘thank you’.

“Imagine you have a balloon. And it’s completely filled with water.” Ienzo explained, gesturing as he did. “There are also… Smaller balloons inside it.”

“So you have a balloon filled with water and smaller balloons that are also filled with water inside the bigger one.” Xion completed, still a bit shaky, but Ienzo nodded at her and continued.

“Correct! The bigger balloon… Let’s name it… Our Universe.”

He pointed to the schema on the board and Even huffed, clearly offended that no one had understood his precisely calculated and deeply explained data.

“The smaller balloons are all the other worlds you’ve already been to. Radiant Garden… Agrabah… Twilight Town... The Land of Departure.” He looked at Terra, then at Aqua. “And all other worlds we have still got to explore.”

Then he looked at Ventus.

It was no surprise that the blond had been the one to find the disturbance. Unlike his friends, his family, Ventus didn't live in The Land of Departure. He didn’t have a house, a physical place that he called his. He always had a place to sleep, he was always welcome at his friend’s, but staying in just one world wasn’t what he wanted.

No, he wanted something else. He wanted to meet new people, new races, new cultures! He wanted to travel and learn about different names, different animals, different lives. Out of everyone in the room, he was without a doubt the most prone to explore and find these new worlds.

Ventus nodded and shyly glanced at Naminé. To everyone, he was an explorer. A free soul, ready to face whatever he found next. But she knew what he really wanted, what he was really trying to do.

She smiled at him for a moment and they looked back at Ienzo again.

"Right. And then there was this…" Roxas said.

"Rupture!" Even interrupted. "A rift that came to be and is tearing our reality's shell! Ignoring all laws of quantum physics and even of our magic! A hole that is gathering never-ending amounts of mass and slowly cutting through the fabric of…"

Ienzo crossed his arms and tilted his head, stared at him with an amused grin. Even groaned again, his shoulders low. 

"-existence.”

It was Xion who finished his sentence and they all turned to look at her.

“A rupture in the fabric of existence. These are the words." The girl said and stared at her mentor. "... Like a little cut on the balloon."

"Precisely!" Even nodded at her, proud. "And what exactly happens when you try to... Cut a balloon filled with water?”

"It pops." Aqua said. "All the water and everything else that’s inside… It’s all pushed through the cut. Pushed out of the balloon.”

“Pushed out of existence...” Terra completed. 

Their puzzled expressions turned into worried ones. Ienzo, who a few seconds before was smiling at his father’s desperate need to use big words, now too looked worried. He went back to the blackboard and drew two simple circles next to Even’s well-calculated graphics.

“The matter at hand is… We still can’t tell if things are already escaping our balloon. Our reality.” He drew a line from one circle to the other, connecting them. “Neither do we know if things from the other side are… Ending up here.”

“But what _is_ the other side?” Naminé asked. “Like… If something happens here… Does something happen there?”

“We cannot tell just yet.” Even answered and took a step forward, his fingers intertwined. “But based on our calculations and theories, we believe the other side might be like ours. An entire, another universe.”

“What?” Roxas raised one brow, the corner of his mouth curved with confusion. “But… How?”

“You mean another universe with other worlds? Like ours… But still different?” Terra asked. “That could be dangerous!”

“It couldn’t be, it _is_ dangerous.“ Even reinforced. “The implications that this brings could be catastrophic, even more if things start to spill!”

“So, essentially, we’ve got a leak.” Xion said. “Our world and all the other worlds are leaking… Escaping to… Somewhere.”

“The Realm of Darkness, perhaps?” Aqua suggested, but Ienzo shook his head.

“Not like that. The Realm of Darkness is here, in our universe. If this other universe exists…Then there might be another Realm of Darkness there as well. Or maybe there isn’t such a realm. It can be something completely different from what we have, or it could be identical to ours.”

“Something identical?” Aqua exclaimed. “You mean-”

“A parallel universe??” Roxas exclaimed, alarmed. 

“So there could be… More than one of us?” Aqua gasped, following her thought. “Living the same life as we are?”

“Or maybe living different lives. Maybe… Different time… Lines?”

“As in, time travel?”

“Time travel?!”

It was impossible to keep up with what was said after that. Aside from Ventus who merely stared at the chaos and Xion who waited for permission to speak, every person in the room grew more and more agitated, talking and gesturing, speaking over the other, louder, faster! Even crossed his arms and looked at Ienzo as if he were to blame for it, which the young man took personally.

“Everyone, please!” He tried. “Guys! Friends!”

Xion smiled at him with sympáthy and Even rolled his eyes. The young scientist held his breath and stepped forward.

“Silence!!”

His voice came out louder than he wanted it to, but it got the job done. Everyone stopped speaking and turned to him, surprised. Even smiled proudly from where he stood and Ienzo cleared his throat, hands behind his back.

“We cannot tell for sure what this ‘other universe’ is so let us not make any assumptions for now! Assuming the undetermined will only get in the way of solving this problem! We need to focus on what we have right now, not on uncertainties!”

The room went silent. Xion clapped silently, noticing the small smile in the corner of her friend and mentor’s lips.

“So...” Ventus spoke, almost whispered, trying to bring attention to the subject again. “We know this cut… Portal… Whatever it is, is dangerous. To all worlds, even ours. And it’s our duty to protect them.”

Roxas gestured to the other blond. “You’re right. But… All you guys have said is that it’s dangerous and might lead to somewhere else. But where exactly is it? Can we go there and see it? This portal?”

“Not for now.” Even stated. “We fear that having too much Light in the location might attract more heartless to the area. That could be… Harmful.”

“Destructive, if these things escape into a place we can’t reach.” Aqua muttered and shivered, remembered the terrible things she had faced in the Realm of Darkness, then frowned. “Or… Can we? Reach this place, I mean?”

Even shook his head. “We don’t even know what this place is. The mere act of trying to go there would be suicide!”

“That’s why we’re only studying it at the moment.” Xion smiled. “King Mickey has already been told about all of this and so have the royal guards of Radiant Garden. They’re currently surrounding the portal and observing it along with other scientists. While we figure out more about what’s on the other side... We need to make sure there aren’t other leaks out there.”

“We can do that.” Terra said valiantly. “Aqua and I will make sure there’s no light or darkness taking over.“

“Yes.” Aqua agreed. “We’ll oversee things from our Land and inform you if we find other disturbances like this one.”

“Good. I was hoping you’d say that.” Ienzo smiled. “We no longer have Lea or Isa to help us, but I believe I can convince Lauriam to give us a hand. For good time’s sake.”

Ventus pressed his lips together, stared down at his own feet tapping on the floor. Counting the minutes, the seconds he’d been there. Hoping it wouldn’t be long before he could leave.

“And what about us?” Roxas asked, referring to him and Xion. “What can we do?”

“Xion is already working with us.” Ienzo answered and put his hand on the young woman’s shoulder. She smiled, proud of herself. “As for you, Roxas, your strength and power will be needed. You’ll be working with Aeleus and Dilan. We’ll give you more instructions after we’re done here.”

“Alright.” Roxas nodded, a little upset he wouldn’t be working with his girlfriend. “I’ll do what I can.”

“What about me?” Naminé asked, her voice low and shy. “How can I help in this mission?”

“For now, we need you to watch. Observe. Take notes.”

Naminé nodded and, despite all the confused stares, didn’t seem disappointed. Ventus smiled at her and then back to his feet, his smile gone. Even waited for a moment and, seeing no one had anything else to say, spoke.

“This, of course, isn’t the only time we’ll meet. It is just the beginning. There’s much to be done and discussed and we’ll see to that in the following days.”

“What is Ven going to do?”

Terra’s question made everyone look at the blond, who shrank on his seat and could almost feel himself melting with embarrassment. Being stared at like that made him want to run away so he stared at Naminé for support.

“I’m... I was the one who found the portal. In my travels.” He spoke, his voice shaking. Terra and Aqua shared worried glances that he pretended not to see.

“Ventus has been working with us since he found the portal.” Even explained. “He’s watching the phenomenon up close and actively searching for any other leads.”

“Yeah.” Ventus nodded. “I don’t think I’ll be around for too long.”

“You could spend some time with us,” Terra suggested, followed by Aqua. 

“Yeah. You know, at home. Your home.”

Ventus almost answered but decided not to and simply turned away, not facing anyone. The air grew dense and there was an awkward feeling surrounding them, but no one said or did anything. Terra leaned back in distress and Ventus deepened his fingers on his skin until Xion intervened.

“So… Does anyone have any other questions? Ienzo and I will be here to answer them and help!”

“And while you do,” Even let out a sigh. “I will return to my calculations and talk to the ones who are currently at the portal’s location. Let us all meet again to continue this conversation tomorrow, at 10 in the morning.”

That established the end of the meeting. One by one the Guardians of Light left their seats and either walked to Ienzo and Xion to express their thoughts about the whole situation or left without saying a word.

Ventus was the first one to leave. He pretty much jumped to his feet as soon as the meeting was over and headed for the exit without looking back. He was already walking down the stairs at the entrance of the Castle when he heard Aqua call for him. He didn’t look back and kept walking.

“Ven!! Ventus, please!”

Always looking ahead. Always looking forward.

"Ventus!"

He felt someone grab him by his arm and turned around, shook them off. Terra stepped back, hurt, and Aqua rushed to his side, her eyes filled with worry.

"Ven, please don't do this."

"Do what? I'm just doing what I was told." He answered, low in tone but loud in anger.

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't… Just walk away like that. To do that after not showing up for months… We're supposed to be family!"

"So now we're supposed to be family? Not when one of us is falling apart?" He snarled.

"Ventus, we tried to help-" Terra started.

"No, you didn't. Neither of you! None of them! All you did was cast me aside!"

"You know that's not true!" Terra approached him. Ventus took a few steps away. "We looked for you, everywhere! And then when we found you-"

"I didn't want help. Right. Keep saying that." The blond retorted and gnashed his teeth. "That was how you convinced everyone anyway, wasn't it?"

"Ventus, can you just listen-" Aqua tried one more time, her eyes filling up with tears, but it was to no avail.

“No one listened to me before. Why should I listen to you now? Just because I’m younger? Is that why?”

He could feel his blood boiling. So much he’d kept inside just rushing through his veins, about to burst in mere seconds.

“Look, I wasn’t going to say anything. I just want to leave, okay? You guys don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want.”

“But we do, Ven!” Aqua cried out, anguished. “We want to talk to you! We want to help you, we want to be there for you.”

“You weren’t there for me when I needed you. And then...And then Lauriam showed up and-”

“Ventus, it wasn’t your fa-”

"I am _not_ a murderer!"

There was silence. Aqua rubbed her face with her hands and Terra opened his mouth but could not speak.

"I told you _so_ many times before! I. Didn't. Do it! It wasn't me, it was-"

"We believe in you, Ven-"

"No, you don't!" Ventus screamed at the top of his lungs just as Roxas, Xion, and Naminé were walking down the stairs. "Because if you did, if you really did, then you wouldn't have doubted me! You wouldn't have sided with him!"

He gestured to nowhere, pointing aimlessly to the one that had lost his sister on that dreadful night, wherever he was. Xion and Roxas stopped in their tracks, but Naminé still walked down a few more steps.

"Do you have any idea of how hard it's been for me?? Can you even imagine what goes through my head every single day?!"

"We want to know!" 

"You don't want to know! You never wanted to know! Just like your Master didn’t!"

Aqua couldn't hold back her tears at the mention of Eraqus and Terra himself almost started to cry, but he reached for his partner’s hand and held it tight, his eyes focused on Ventus.

"Ven…" He tried, breathed in, breathed out. "Ven, I wanted to talk to you…"

"Did you really?" Ventus too was tearing up, but that didn't stop him from speaking. "Wow! It only took you, what, three years? Of course you wanted!"

"I mean it!" Terra exclaimed, growing angry himself, and stood between Aqua and the young man he used to call his little brother. "You know I have been through the same thing!"

"And that's _exactly_ why I know you don't believe me! Because you've been through the same shit and no one batted an eye, no one blamed you! We rescued you and I'd give my life for you, but when _I’m_ being doubted you all turned your backs on me!"

Terra approached him. Ventus stepped backward again, a tear ran down.

“Stand back!” Ventus asked, but Terra didn’t.

“Everyone was having a hard time after what happened. Ventus, you need to understand that-’

“That Sora is gone! I know!” He shouted again, more and more tears falling down, his voice growing louder and louder. “I’ve known for years!!”

“We were struggling!” Aqua tried again. “I had just… Just returned from the Realm of Darkness, Terra had just been saved, we were all trying to recover!”

“I was trying too! But no one ever gave a damn!”

His head was pounding. All the nervousness he’d felt before and during the meeting now engulfed him, made it harder for him to breathe. Roxas tried to approach but Naminé stretched her arm out, asked him to wait.

“Just because I was in a fucking comma doesn’t mean I didn’t suffer as you did!”

Aqua put an arm on her chest, appalled. “Ventus, we never assumed such a thing-”

“But you believed it! While the two of you were going around and helping each other, I had to deal with my nightmares alone!” 

Terra walked up to him, faster this time. Ventus recoiled and failed to step back, but didn’t stop speaking.

“I had to deal with my fears alone, I had to-”

“Ventus-”

“-live with a broken heart ever since he left and you never even thought about that! Terra, please, step back, let me breathe!”

"Ventus, you gave us no choic-"

A Keyblade was drawn out and Terra dodged it. Aqua shouted Ventus’ name and pulled Terra back, summoned her own weapon. Before them stood Ventus, holding his Keyblade in a defensive stance, his blue eyes glimmering with pain and with hatred.

The Keyblade he held was no longer familiar to anyone but him. Its form was covered with greenish light, a dark coat covering the entire blade except for the handle which could pierce, which could kill. Like darkling wings disguised as a gem. Shining, pulsing with darkness.

Naminé ran to approach them, followed by Roxas and Xion who both summoned their own Keyblades. Ventus didn’t notice them, not until they were close enough. Not until he realized all of them but Naminé were armed, not in defense, but ready to attack. Ready to protect the two Masters that stood before him. Ready to stop his nonsense. Ready to stop him.

He tried to hold it back but the aching was too loud, hopeless sobs being the last thing that left his mouth before he turned and ran away. He didn’t let go of Missing Ache, only held it tighter, and raced down the stairs until he was far enough.

He could hear people calling and could hear steps as he was followed so he threw his Keyblade in the air and jumped after it, used his Glider to go, to leave, to get away from there. The voices calling for him quickly became unheard and not even once did he think about looking back, about turning around.

All he ever did from the moment he left Radiant Garden was to look ahead. Always looking ahead. 

Always looking forward.

* * *

_I’m on the rooftop in front of the Bistro. See you there?_

__ Naminé_

Ventus read the message he received on his Gummi phone. It had been a while since he’d come to Twilight Town. It was a nice place and had a pleasant smell too, like lavender. It reminded him of a place called home, although he wasn’t sure he had the right idea of what home should be anymore.

He walked around the streets and watched some kids play for a while. It was weird, seeing humans just living their lives and enjoying every moment. Unaware of the chaos that had almost destroyed everything. Unaware of the pain others had suffered, unaware of the sacrifices that had been made.

He sighed and looked up. He could already see Naminé up there, but she was too busy observing the Bistro to see him.

“Evening.”

“Whoa-!” She jumped, startled. “Hey, blondie. I could have fallen because of you!”

“Nah.” He sat next to her. “I would have held you before you fell.”

“And then probably fallen down with me.”

“Right!”

The Bistro was packed, lines of people gathering at the entrance waiting for a spot. The stores were all open and people were chatting away, laughing, enjoying themselves.

Ventus pressed his lips together. Around them, there was only silence, but his mind was still very loud. Always very loud.

“So...” The blonde started. “Did you find anything new on your journeys? Except for the portal thingie, that is.”

He chuckled with no energy. “I did. But nothing of importance.”

“Aw, I’m sure you’ve made new friends, at least? Friends are important, you know!”

“Well, yeah, but… They’re not what I’m looking for. So… Of no importance.”

“Not even a sign, then?”

“... I don’t know.

Naminé nodded respectfully without looking away from him. Ventus on the other hand couldn’t look at her. He kept looking at the people, at the movement. At his hands, at his legs. Looking away from the words he wanted to say out loud.

“I’ve been thinking, and…” He hesitated. “You know what? Maybe I’m fighting for a lost cause.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Because… It’s been five years, right? People have changed. Life has changed, everybody moved on. Perhaps it’s time for me to do that. To let go, to… Accept things as they are.”

“Can you?” Naminé asked with a compassionate smile. “Can you simply accept things as they are?”

Ventus held his breath for a moment. He didn’t need to answer that question, his silence was enough. Naminé kept to herself for a while longer, looked away to take in the view while she waited.

“... What if everything I’ve done was just a waste of time?”

The young man pulled his legs to his chest and looked up to the stars. So many of them covered the sky that night. So many stars, so many planets, so many worlds. Much more than he’d ever know, much more than anyone would ever know.

“I will never recover the time I lost. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m doing that now, I know it’s not the same. I’m just… Trying to recover the time I lost. But how? The years I spent asleep, they’re gone. Forever.”

“That’s a certainty, yes. But it doesn’t mean everything else is lost as well.” She crossed her arms and sat closer to her friend. “Tell me, Ven. What’s in your heart?”

“I’m not sure. Just… This yearning. And it hurts. As if something’s being pulled from me. Or… As if I’m being pulled by something.” Ventus frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t put it into words. But it feels like I’m being called.” 

“And you think the one who's calling you is Vanitas?”

“... I do.”

Naminé put her hand over Ventus’ and stroked it with her thumbs. He was cold. His eyes were low and tired, his skin was full of cuts and wounds. She noticed a scar on his neck that hadn’t been there the last time he visited.

“Do you want me to look again?” She asked, careful. “Maybe your heart has remembered something in your travels?”

“I don’t think so. But it unnerves me, to know there are hidden memories in here. Memories locked in my heart.” A little nervous laugh. “I feel… Broken. Ever since I woke up.”

A child laughed in the distance and they both turned to look. The child was running around with a plush, talking to their parents.

“... Was I even meant to wake up?”

Naminé closed her fingers around Ventus’ hand, held it tight. He held hers back.

“Was I meant to be here? I don’t… Really make any difference.” He said as his words carried heavy meanings with them, some of which even himself wasn’t aware of. “I didn’t do anything when Sora fought Xehanort. I didn’t do anything for the past few years other than exploring. All I’ve done is...”

“You’ve lived.” Naminé spoke, squeezed his hand. “Like many others, you just… Lived. As you should. And whenever there’s a threat, you help along with the other Guardians.”

“There hasn’t been any threat since Xehanort, though. Which, you know, I’m not complaining about.” He chuckled. “But... I’m replaceable. Even more now after that mess this morning.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Still a mess.” He reinforced, serious. “I… I can’t even deal with that one memory you found. If I’m this fucked up, who knows what else is hidden inside?”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath.

“... What if I _am_ guilty?”

“You were just a child, Ven. I doubt-”

“I’ve seen Darkness, Naminé. In many forms. Before and after Xehanort found me. I know what It can do.” He turned to look at her. “I might’ve been used as a puppet. But the blood is in my hands, not the puppeteer’s. That’s why...”

“That’s why you need to find him.” She completed. “To find your own, personal darkness.”

“... The world never stops for anyone. It just goes on and on. And I feel like… All I’ve done is watch.”

“Okay... Now, why is just watching so bad?”

Ventus raised one brow at her. He opened his mouth but no sound came out and she laughed, giving him a playful push with her elbow.

“Because you feel hopeless? Or just… Useless?” She asked, in a carefree tone that didn’t quite fit the question. “That you should be doing more than you currently are?”

“Uh... Yes?”

Naminé laughed again. “I understand. To stand by and watch? It was all I could do in Castle Oblivion years ago. And it’s all I was assigned to do on this new mission. But- Hey, don’t feel bad for me!”

Ventus had barely lowered his gaze when she said that. He often forgot how much his other friends had gone through as well, always stuck with his own problems, stuck in his own head. Every single one of them had unseen scars, terrible ones. Maybe Terra and Aqua had a point. Maybe-

“I’m trying to make a point here, not to make you feel bad.”

“Sorry, sorry!” He held his hands open before him. “But I can’t help it, you know...”

“My point is!” She spoke louder than him with a satisfied smile. “That not being able to do anything for some time actually allowed me to do more later on. You can learn many things just by looking at them.”

Ventus turned his gaze away.

“I’ve been looking for far too long.”

“Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong direction then!” She teased and confidently ran her fingers down her hair. He rolled his eyes, but his smile didn’t fade, only grew bigger.

“How are you so wise?” Ventus asked in a softer tone. “I’m… Older than you. Older than I look.” He stared down at his hands with wide eyes, suddenly aware that, despite looking 21, he was actually 31 if he considered the years he’d spent asleep. 

He shut the thought away.

“And, uh… And you’re so much wiser than me.”

“I wouldn’t call myself that! But it’s fancy, I like that title. Naminé the Wise.”

“Well, it does fit you!” Ventus laughed again. “Oh. What title do you think fits me?”

“Mmm… I don’t know. Maybe… Ventus the Explorer?”

“Eh…” He shrugged.

“... Ventus, the Traveler.”

“Nope.”

“Well, you decide then!”

“I don’t know!!”

“Then you need to find out!”

It wasn’t supposed to sound serious but Naminé’s words made Ventus pull back and stop smiling. He frowned, looked down at his hand again.

“That’s why I have to find Vanitas. No matter how many memories you get to unlock, most of them left with him. And I… He’s my only hope of finding out who I truly am. Of… Being complete.”

He rubbed at his arms again, tightened his fingers around it.

“There’s so much I don’t know about myself. So much I have forgotten. So much… I have locked away...”

“They won’t be locked away forever. I promised you, didn’t I?” Naminé put her hand on his shoulder, tried to give him confidence. He smiled, but it was forced.

“You did.”

“I did. So it’s gonna happen, alright?”

The way she looked at him was so patient. So kind. He’d been looked at that way before. Aqua used to look at him like that, Terra did too. Even Eraqus, who he would never refer to as Master again. Eraqus, who had tried to kill him as soon as he’d been seen as a menace. Just as it was happening now.

Ventus forced yet another smile, but it wasn’t as effective. He sighed again, weaker than before, and Naminé was quick to pull him into a hug before the tears started to fall. He leaned on her, not making a sound as she held him and gently spoke comforting words. He didn’t hear any of them, didn’t pay enough attention. Words could only go so far in making him feel better.

The Bistro was about to close when they left the roof and walked back to Naminé’s place. Uncle Scrooge waved at them, but mostly at Naminé who was a regular in his restaurant, as they passed by and went up the streets in silence.

Once home, Naminé went to the kitchen to make them tea while they talked. It was past midnight when they finally lay down to sleep, to rest. No matter how much Naminé told Ventus to sleep on her bed he didn’t accept it and chose the mattress on the floor instead. At least that way he’d be able to get up and walk around the house without making noise.

“Ready for tomorrow?” Naminé asked a few minutes after they said their goodnights. Ventus opened his eyes, pulled his blanket closer.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m a bit-”

“Scared.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “I mean, you can’t blame me, right? The whole thing is crazy! Another universe. Another us.“

“Well, I wouldn’t complain if there were two Vens around. It’d be fun to pick on both of you.”

“You already have Roxas for that.”

“Oh my God, another Roxas! And another you! Quadruplets!”

He laughed out loud. “Oh, shut up!”

“We can all be a beautiful family of blondes. Except for Xion, of course. Maybe she could dye her hair. Oh- Do you think Xion and Roxas are dating in this other universe too?”

“Maybe? I can’t really see them without one another.”

“Me neither. But- Oh. What if yooou have a sweetheart?” 

"What? No way.”

“Who knows? There’s only one way to find out.”

“Há. I never liked anyone. Don’t think my other selves would.”

“Guess you’ll have to ask them then~”

It was late into the night when they finally stopped talking. Naminé fell asleep right away, snoring happily. Ventus tried to do the same for over one hour, but he knew himself way too well to believe he’d manage.

He got up from the mattress and went to the kitchen to get himself a cup of tea, bringing his Gummi Phone with him. His eyes were low and he had no energy left, but it was always like this. Never able to sleep whenever he wanted, only when his body couldn’t deal with the exhaustion which could take days.

The young man looked out of the window and tapped one of the icons on his Gummi Phone’s screen, choosing one of the games it had. He played it for what felt like hours, looking back from the screen to the full moon outside. Wondering. Thinking.

“... I will find you.” 

His only hope.

“... Wherever you are.”


End file.
